Template:Battle Cats Intro



Empire of Cats

Stories of Legend

Into the Future

Intro Amongst all the global issues, civil wars, financial crises, terrorism, a brand new threat appears...

"The Battle Cats"

We found it too hard to fight back...because...these Cats...are too cute.

''We are powerless to their reign. We cannot stop their legion.''

Come to think of it, Cats have already invaded the internet too...We have the best information technology systems and use them to look at Cats.

''By the way, the developer of these Battle Cats was interviewed on TV. It went like this...''

"Why is the new weapon a Cat?"

and he answered - 

"Because I love Cats."

...are you serious?

''I just read what I've written. It's horrible...so horrible. I've forgotten how bad my writing was. ''

My biggest mistake was I don't know who I am writing to...

''I remember my days as a kid, I wanted to be a major leaguer. ''

Now...Now I want to be a millionaire CEO of a Social Networking Service.

I mean, if you have money, you don't need love, right?

YES/NO

Whatever the answer is...I want to tell you one thing.

The "Battle Cats" aren't so bad.

''That's pretty much it. ''

Ending

After all the battles, the world was overrun by the Battle Cats.

A government of the Cats, by the Cats, for the Cats is the new world!

Or that's what I thought...

''In the end, nothing really changed. ''

Well, if I have to say something, I see a lot more Cats nowadays.

That's pretty much it.

''Oh, by the way, I had a "Cat" come into my office for a job interview, he didn't get in. ''

We might be really busy, but a Cat...

''is just a Cat. ''

''However, I do feel lucky if I see one, in the office or at school. ''

''Wouldn't you? ''

Anyways, 

''Congratulations to The Battle Cats! ''

Thank you Battle Cats!

''Battle Cats Forever! ''

T H E E N D 

''Thank you for Playing!! ''

Stories of Legend

''After the Battle Cats invaded the world they moved to the next step of their plan... ''

I thought what they wanted was to blend into our world and live a cozy and peaceful life..

...

''I was wrong. ''

The Battle Cats took over nuclear power plants all over the world.

They were trying to feed all the world's power into one place!

''Their mission was really... Time Travel!''

A couple of days ago I ran into The Marketing Manager of the Battle Cats (He was a Cat) and we had a chat, but I don't think he knew what "Strictly Confidential" meant.

''So I knew their plan, but I was too busy playing games and going out. Oh, I also paid a visit to my folks too. I'm a good kid. ''

''Trust me. ''

''...and so I forgot about their plan. ''

We need to release the Legendary Cats!

We need to free them before they were sealed!

We need to travel in time!

''We need some Cat Food! ''

...I think that was what the Cat was saying, Though I can barely remember, because I was pretty drunk too.

Oh right, I was having some nuts with my beer.

''So anyway, they succeeded in time travel and the Battle Cats traversed to another world. ''

They remembered to shut down all the nuclear power plants safely and even left a note saying "Thank you"

...I guess they aren't so bad after all?

Hey, I forgot to add.

You know God, yeah THAT God.

He is around 20 years old.

So...

''He shouldn't exist in the past... Yet. ''

Intro

It is the future...

1st April, 29XX

On that day, Aliens came to this planet.

''But, hey, what's this? Was it just bad timing?''

The people of Earth brushed the visitors off like weirdos.

Their revenge on the humans who ignored them took many forms:

''Sinking Japan... Psychic activity... Mind-control implants... Floating cities... Reality television... Unspeakable probing... ''

''Sure, some guys weren't too happy. But lets not worry about that.''

Oh yeah, by the way: I've been an alien from space all along.

''The changes we made to earth creatures are the symbol of our rule. Lately, you see guys on the street with THAT growing from their head.''

Earth has no words to explain what THAT is.

You'd definitely die of embarrassment if you tried to describe THAT.

''A real gentleman would never dare mention THAT in public. ''

NEVER.

That's how awfully shocking THAT is.

Anyhow, I've got 8 of THAT growing on my head.

''We had just about invaded every country in the world, but then... some really troublesome guys appeared without warning.''

''Their name is... Cat Army.''

''We heard they'd conquered the past... and now they came to invade our future.''

There's just one thing I want to say to the Cat Army:

♪Aliens aren't so bad after all♪

Well, it is true that we sunk Japan...

''Well, lets not waste any more time. On to the greatest showdown:''

ALIEN vs CAT

Ending ''And so... the Alien empire fell before the power of the Cat Army.''

''A new world has emerged: of the Cats, by the Cats, for the Cats! This life will surely become even more punishing and cruel! Aaagh!''

Well, that's what I thought.

''But... In the end, nothing really changed.''

''Well, if I have to say something. Cats star in a lot more TV dramas these days.''

''That's pretty much it. ''

''Now we have lots of cute "big sister" characters on TV. Aliens became less trendy so we don't get parts anymore.''

''Hey, do you remember THAT? Well, pushing and pulling on THAT is the new comedy boom.''

Oh, one more thing.

I just got back from drinking with the Cats...

They were a little tipsy, but they seemed very interested in our planet.

''I was cornered for over an hour... They kept asking things like: "Is there Cat Food over there?"''

They were so persistent I finally just said, "Yeah, sure!"

Suddenly their eyes were gleaming with childlike joy.

I hear they're building a rocket now.

''Do you think...? No, there's no way... ''

''Anyhow... Congratulations to The Battle Cats!''

Thank You Battle Cats!

Onward into an endless universe!!!

T H E E N D